Productive Pain

Pain is horrible. I try to avoid it at all costs, but it often finds its way back, and when it returns, it returns with a vengence. If I know it's coming, I can at least brace myself for the impact. For years, the idea of intentional pain, the kind you bring on yourself by choosing a Christian lifestyle, kept me at a safe arm's length from God. Since following Him required sacrifice, I was selective in my pursuit. I enjoyed discovering and developing the gifts he'd given me but agreed avoiding the harder challenges was just plain safer.

The problem with my resolve was that pain came along anyway. But it was useless pain and wasn't producing anything in me other than scars. I would hurt,  internalizing the pain, and found myself unwilling to do anything else with it. The more I let this happen, the more I realized I was gaining distance between myself and Christ. The greater the distance, the less I noticed the pain. Like the song from the Avett Brothers, I was becoming numb like the old tin man. The God-rejecting culture was becoming less obvious and offensive to me. Then, one day, I was drawn back to the purpose of pain.

Jesus Christ suffered a horrible death, but he kept his eye on the purpose of his pain. He knew his sacrifice was producing something we needed and couldn't ever earn. Then I thought to myself, if Jesus is our example, the incarnate God, then we can learn how to respond to our pain through his. Lesson one: pain is fleeting. It will never last forever. It's horrible, yes, and sometimes nearly impossible to get through, but it will one day be non-exsistent. Lesson two: pain can be productive. What we see as a nuisance, God can convert into beauty. It hurts, makes us cry, leaves scars, but in our weakness we have a God who transforms our tears into testimony. Some pain is unbearable and the tears seem to last forever; with some deep wounds we still wait for the testimony. It's coming, as elusive as it seems.

I am really writing this for myself, because today I experienced an episode of pain that left me breathless. But Jesus, in his tenderness, is sewing me up and creating a deeper beauty in me that wasn't there before. I am so grateful my pain has been productive and wasn't just a taunt to make me suffer.